I grew up in Queens, New York in the early 70's. As my parents were heavily involved in drama plays and religious activities we had a chance to meet several families. Some families came from the vicinity of Long Island, which back then was a little better of a place. As the economy was getting better some family moved to New Jersey in search of space and opportunity. We too moved to East Brunswick New Jersey in 1979. My father was a devotee of Lord Subramanian and wanted to celebrate Skanda Sashti in a big way. My mother, alone, would cook for 300 or more people and the function was spread through word of mouth. As more and more people heard of the event they would bring them along; no invitation required. There was a group who were learning Carnatic music from the late Shri T.N. Bala who had composed several kirtanas on the lord. He was an accomplished singer and teacher who brought a group all the way from Long Island. In that group was Radha Subramanian who was, at the time, 14 or 15 years old. Her friend Shoba was around the same age. Both girls were very beautiful and as, in my family, we were four boys in the house, we always had the chance to meet a few girls at a time. Radha's parents were average middle-class people whereas Shoba's parents were well off. They were physicians. Regardless both of the girls participated in very similar activities and were very close friends. I was about 6 or 7 years older than them at the time and had a strong liking for Radha but because of her age I had to be careful. The parents also adored me and would always send us out. I looked after them very well.
As years went by, Radha and I lost touch and I got involved in business. When I was getting married I called Radha and both her and her mother attended my wedding in Madras in 1983. Shoba attended the reception. Over the years we kept in touch but not as much. I was unable to attend Radha and Srikanth's wedding. Shrikanth was studying at Columbia University. I managed to attend Shoba and Chip Natarajan's wedding which took place in Long Island. As years went by Radha moved to Ohio as Shrikanth was teaching at the University and Radha became a mother to a beautiful girl just like herself. As time went by we lost connection but never lost the connection in our hearts. In 2006, I had a dream that Radha was in trouble and needed my help. Only from 2004 I began having psychic powers so I knew that this was not in vain but she was actually in trouble. Again after two weeks Radha came in my dream begging "Koushik, please save me!". I knew I had to find her but that was as easy as finding a needle in a haystack. I did not know her married name nor did I know what town she was in. I contacted every person I knew since we came to this country and asked each and every one of them if they had any information regarding Radha's whereabouts. Any information would have sufficed if it would mean getting a step closer to finding her. Nothing came of that. Every function I went to that was the only thing on my mind. Getting to the bottom of this and finding Radha. A thought occurred to me that if I try contacting her childhood friend, Shoba, then I would finally find my Radha. Then I ran into yet another obstacle; I had no information as to where she was either. We have held Sai Bhajans in our house since 2006. One year the priest from the Rajaganapathi temple came and performed the Yantra Puja in our house and had the event recorded. He took a copy with him to the temple and was planning on playing it one day to share the event with everyone who visited the temple.
On that day he was to play the video I went to the temple and just before he was about to play the video I heard a very familiar voice and turned and saw this couple standing together. They came with one of the families who were performing a function in the temple that day. I called out "Shoba". She immediately turned around and said "I don't recognize you. Who are you?" I said "well I know who you are so I must know you." We caught up on all the minor details. I wanted to know the whereabouts of Radha but as a loyal friend she refused to give me any helpful information thinking that she is helping her when in reality she wasn't. I told Shoba that Radha had come in my dream asking me for help. She retorted "I do not believe in any of that!" I even gave her the details of how things were happening but still she didn't budge. She was certainly shocked for not having any faith in this matter. "Do not waste time as it is paramount that I have a chance to talk with her." She said "I will pass the message along to her. What exactly is it that you need to say or do for her?" I calmly replied "whatever message I have to relay to Radha is between her and I and therefore I cannot tell you." That's pretty much where the conversation ended. Days went by and there was no indication that Shoba had relayed my message to Radha. She was in her final stage of cancer and it was only a matter of days before she was going to be called home to the abode of the lord. Radha mentioned to Shoba "I am in a beautiful place. Very serene with lovely souls. Plenty of white light. Colorful. Everyone is waiting for me." She would then come back to reality and the life in her eyes would slowly dissipate. It was back to the routine of chemotherapy and pain. I would please with Shoba to just give me one chance to be with Radha and I never got the chance to bid farewell to my very dear friend.
On January 7, 2008 Radha left her body and joined the divine. I contacted Shoba again saying "I know Radha has passed and you know I have no way of knowing this unless I was physically there. I can tell you everything that took place on that very day." She still had her doubts and said "I still do not trust you. I want to talk to you wife." So without hesitation I passed the phone to Radhika and she said "believe Koushik. He is right." To win her trust I even told her the details that took place on January 7th. "Just 41 years old Radha passed away and is survived by her husband and two beautiful girls. She pursued her law degree." I went on and on about the details of how I knew what was going on even without physically speaking to Radha or anyone that even remotely knew her. Shoba then knew what a mistake she had made of not letting me see a friend who did in fact need me at a very crucial time in her life. Radha brightened the lives of every person she came into contact with. Like a shooting star the brilliance of her light has faded too quickly. I feel so very blessed to have had such a wonderful person in my life. May her soul rest in peace.
Unless the divine gives me permission I do not write. That is the reason they are not in order. It comes when it's meant to come.
Radha's Mother, Radha, & My Wife Radhika
Sai ram
Love all serve all
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