Aum Sri Sai ram
Finally he walked away in silence of the heart With no family members near him at his last breath…, no one showed up for his wife who suffered from Alzheimer’s disease last year February 20-21,2022 in their house in Rancho Palos Verdes, Los Angeles.
My personal account of meeting with Dr. T. Viswanathan ( Rancho Palos Verdes in CA).
Sairam.
Janaki Aunty’s brother who lives in California has been in touch with me for several years and lately we hadn’t kept in touch.
His wife had Alzheimer’s and passed away last year in California. He has 2 sons born and brought up in the States.
I heard one is a physician in Neuroscience and the other
Is in computer science. Neither was at the bedside at the parents last breath in both instances. Not with any prejudice or judgement why? Maybe it was the order of the divine master?
Mama had severe Rheumatoid arthritis. & the arthritis spread into the lungs ( fibrosis).which without a oxygen tank and a wheelchair he was unable to function his day to day routine.He employed nurses around the clock for all his need’s from waking to sleeping. They cooked or ordered food from outside. The care givers were from the Philippines.
He texted me in December 2022and said “ some how the almighty has connected us together for a reason after such a long gap of several years “.
I was happy to hear from mama. He is highly educated and is a voracious reader on all spiritual issues Ramana, J.K , Sathya Sai or he would say SS and had amazing clarity. One can spend hours chatting with him and not feel the age difference and time just flew away.
He was the one who was instrumental in asking me to write the blog. I said mama, who is going to read my experience? Why would they even believe anything I have to say?.
He said don’t worry about them. It’s about your journey and one day it will all make sense why?Write everything no matter how trivial or silly it sounds. This was in 2008 at Monmouth Junction , New Jersey at J aunty daughter’s house.
In one of the conversation he mentioned that his wife’s one year anniversary is on February 20-21,2023. He said due to my condition only a few close friends are coming. I felt very bad that I was unable to go due to my health issues and procedure on February 15th at the hospital to travel.
My weekly routine on Thursday from 8pm to 9:15 with conscious efforts would attend the Sai center Bhajans, unless I wasn’t keeping good health. Last Tuesday I had a procedure 2/15 at the hospital with Anesthesia and due to that the doctors advised don’t operate a automobile. I also felt weak and listened to their plea.
As a courtesy informed the Devotional co-Ordinator I will not be able to come for the weekly Bhajans. February 18th was Maha shivaratri and initially I didn’t have the inclination to attend a all night vigil as my health issues were interfering with my attention.
On Friday morning I wrote to another spiritual friend seeking his blessings to attend the Maha shivaratri function and instantly I received a message “ Sairam Koushik my blessings are always with you “. I took it as a blessing from the lord to show up for this once a year spiritual progress taming the senses and inconvenience’s.
I chose to wear a mask. Out of the 100’s of people present only a handful of people wore a mask. It didn’t bother me knowing there was a reason for me to wear. One of the person sitting next to me must have thought why in the world is this man wearing a mask when no one was wearing one and did ask me the question?
I replied politely I have my reasons.
On Sunday 19th returned home from the very energetic Bhajan for 12 hours fully charged with positive vibrations and reached home at 8:30 am . I was extremely tired and slept off for a few hours.
February 20,2023
I felt like I was going to come down with a sore throat and gargled and hope it wasn’t going to happen all over again? The inevitable question? Covid-19 or flu
February 21,2023
I had some legal issues pending and went out even though not upto going into the cold weather into the city.
February 22,2023 Reached out to Viswanathan mama enquring about the function on February 21 for his loving wife.
None of the family members came for his wife’s first Anniversary. I asked him what did you do on February 20-21 for your wife?
He replied…..
Thanks. Family members could not attend. I as husband did whatever is necessary with the priests leading.
Thank you again. ( Viswanathan )
Next, and final message……..,Wednesday February 22nd afternoon
Thanks.
All individuals have personal limitations, till they are awakened, not just from sleeping, but from knowing we are beings!
Viswanathan mama.
On Thursday February 24,2023
I once again informed our Devotion co Ordinator I will not be attending the weekly sai Bhajans due to under the weather conditions and didn’t want to infect anyone else.
This episode has happened to me several times with close family when the time came to let go for some reason I would end up in the hospital,or not be available for anyone to reach me physically. Thursday the coughing, sneezing, bodyache and chills started and unable to talk decided not to engage in any conversation and switched off the phone.
February 24,2023 Friday morning
Suddenly a thought arises to text Janaki Aunty to inquire about her family situation as her husband passed only a month ago and to see how her physically challenged grandson was coping of separation of his grandfather who was unable to express in words!!!
Her son also had a great fall with his leg and shoulder and was inquiring about his health condition whether he was able to perform his father’s rituals?.
Immediately Janaki aunty can I call you now?
I replied aunty I have a flu and unable to talk due to incessantly coughing.
Then she wrote Viswanathan my elder brother his oxygen levels are going down and one of his friends informed her.Viswanathan said” I am not going to a hospital “. His doctor said “ in that case I am ordering a hospice in home care”.
When she mentioned also stated I was planning on visiting him in 2 weeks. When should I go?
The instant message from the inner voice said NOW
If you go in 2 days will be talking to a body but not living. Go instantly As soon as possible to be with him giving her a laundry list of Do’s and Don’t to a 81 year old woman and specified sorry Amma please forgive me for all these instructions).
Janaki Aunty and her son got a flight from Houston to LA, California on Sunday first flight and reached home at 10:45am. I gave her a word I will pray to keep him alive.
I prayed and prayed to the almighty since I heard about his failing health and even informed my spiritual friend and he replied “ It’s God’s will”.
My heart felt very sad for some reason and tears welled up and shed one tear at a time for this gentle soul. Due to the cough amidst the medication of antibiotics and steroids I was wide awake all night as a vigil and occasionally a tear would touch the pillow for this man named Dr. Viswanathan.
What was our connection? It’s not the age?, knowledge, professional affiliation? One might ask……..
Why did I have to hear about his health condition and suffering?
The only thing we can share is LOVE and I was indeed extremely blessed he chose to spend his valuable end of life with me and shared very precious blessings of unspoken words……… and touched my inner core with at most simplicity and walked away in silence.
For the past 3 months on and off I would text him with my inner thoughts and he would say “ meditate on SS he will guide you “. You have a unique quality to go with in and connect to your inner voice and help others.
One day he asked how do you spend your time?
I said mama I also have physical limitations RA, aneurysm in the chest, esophagus cancer, bloating legs but unlike you not that serious at present. I have some mobility.
I replied back my full time job is to write Aum Sri Sai Ram since I was hospitalized and quarantined at the peak of Covid.2022No visitors were allowed and the only thing which gave me comfort was to write Aum Sri Sai Ram . Due to the steroids orally & intervenusly I would be wide awake 23 hours on a day for weeks.
Mama said when you finish one million Aum Sri Sai Ram you will be able to help people across the globe.
I replied would complete by April 23,2025. I make a sincere effort to write at least 1000 every day with conscious, focused effort to write, say and see his name and form as my offering to connect with my inner core.
I was so surprised from now where came such a profound, pure, thoughtful, loving, caring, grace, blessings from a person who was on his way back to the universe.
Indeed I am very blessed to have met such a unique person in my life.
I wasn’t born to you but I have the at most respect and reverence for each and every word spoken and in silence.
I am always with you, in you, around you at all times watching over you.
Hold on
When Darkness fills the sky,
Hiding sunshine from your eyes,
Hold on….. say his name, see his form, hold on
Sairam…..
Lots of love ❤️ mama..
Heard from Janaki aunty she took a earlier flight today February 26th from Houston to LA. Aunty and her son Kalyan arrived at 10:45am. Viswanathan mama merged with the infinity at 10:33 am 2/26/23.
Gentle soul walked silently without any trace of I .
They say I am dying? Where am I going? I was always Here and Now with you!!!
Till we meet again in another name and form to guide millions to see the Divine Effulgence in the Golden age of Sai…… Prema Sai . The entire universe’s will be one family of love.
Aum Sri Sai Ram
